Conservatives Have Opened My Liberal Eyes to the Evil Genius That is Bernie Sanders

bernie-sanders-Evil-geniusThank you, conservatives. I get it now. I finally see the flaws in my thinking about Bernie Sanders. For months I’ve rolled my eyes as I read articles positing that a Sanders presidency would be the end to democracy as we know it. You’ve warned that Sanders intends to turn America into a socialist, or worse, a communist country. There were quotes from Margaret Thatcher, Winston Churchill, and more, decrying the evils of socialism. I laughed smugly as I read every post and meme. Until today. Today, my liberal eyes were opened to the evil genius that is Bernie Sanders. Conservatives obviously saw something that I couldn’t – or wouldn’t – see before.

Bernie has spent 40+ years working for the rights of the little guy – from civil rights to veterans’ rights, and everything in between. He’s worked to level the playing field for every American, first in his private life, then as an elected official. As a bleeding heart liberal, I bought into his image as an activist and statesman hook, line, and sinker. I believed that his record and integrity were beyond reproach. I believed that he was the only honest presidential candidate; a man who has always put the needs of the many above the wants of the few. How naïve I felt upon realizing that all these decades of do-gooding and decency were nothing more than a diabolical plot to lull the citizenry into believing that he truly cared about this country and its people. What a sham! What a devious, cunning opportunist this man is. And patient, too.

Clearly, he’s only been biding his time. Waiting…scheming…pretending to work for the good of the people so that when the time was right – when we let down our collective guard – he could swoop in and bring his evil plan to fruition. He knew four decades ago that idealistic, hopeful fools like me would be looking for precisely the type of change only he could offer. He foresaw that, one day, millions of liberals, displeased with the status quo, and ripe for brainwashing would crusade to elect him president. Once president, he’d (finally!) have the power to transform this great patriot nation of ours into the communist hellhole he’s likely dreamed of since childhood. Then and only then could he make us all slaves to the state. The good of the people? Who cares? Not Bernie! It was all an act. Our money and belongings (and most likely our guns!) will be confiscated and given to lazy moochers who want nothing but government freebies. Even worse, those of us who do work (if he doesn’t give all our jobs to immigrants and refugees) will be forced to wait months, maybe years, to see a doctor. Eventually, we’ll find ourselves in breadlines begging for crumbs that we can’t afford while society’s takers get an entire loaf – for free!

The man is obviously an evil genius to have fooled so many for so long. He’s spent his entire adult life conniving and deceiving everyone. Doing so much good for so many for the sole purpose of tricking the ignorant masses into believing he cares about the everyman. Ha! The veil has been lifted. I see quite clearly that he’s been lying in wait for the perfect time to put into action his diabolical, democracy-killing plan to drive our country to ruins.

Well played, Senator. Well played.

His wicked intentions can no longer be overlooked. Like conservatives before me, I now see his malevolent scheme for what it really is – a deep-rooted hatred of the American way and a desire to destroy the country.

Wake up, liberals! You’re being taken for fools! If you want to live under a communist regime, move to Cuba, China or North Korea! And take your beloved Bernie with you. Leave the rest of us freedom-loving patriots to live in gun-toting liberty, controlled only by Wall Street, big banks, special interest groups, and giant corporations. They – and only they – know what’s in the best interests of the American people.

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